Brooke Reeves has always wanted to be a mentor. She was just too young. Or so said her mom, Alisha, who should know since she’s the Director of Operations and Programming at Boone County Mentoring Partnership. So when the younger Reeves finished her college degree a year ago, “I really want to do it!” became “Let’s go.”
“I knew a lot more about how mentoring could either be difficult or easy. I knew there was a spectrum,” says Reeves as she thought about her mom’s work. The two would talk about matches around the dining room table. “Going into a match, I didn’t know what kind of kid I’d match with. Would they be going through a lot? How much emotional support would they need?”
If that sounds uneasy or downright terrifying, it’s because it is. But perhaps left unstated around the Reeves’ dinner table is how good staff at BCMP have gotten at helping match the right kids with the right adults, even if those adults are just barely old enough to rent a car or a hotel room.
“We tell people all the time that almost every kid waiting for a match is there just looking for some undivided attention from someone,” says Alisha Reeves.
“I was expecting it might be a heavier situation,” recalls Reeves. “But Kate’s just so outgoing and fun. It worked out perfectly.”
Reeves matched with Kate, a young girl going into the 5th grade in Zionsville. In Zionsville, that means she’s entering middle school. A big change in Kate’s life, exacerbated a bit by her family’s recent move into the district. Anyone who moved schools as a kid knows how hard it is to detach from young friendships and uproot to a new place with new teachers, things, routines, and classmates.
“We got together precisely because she didn’t know anyone,” says Reeves. “She’s a little bit shy, and her mom and dad knew they wanted her to have someone with her other than family.” Kate’s parents specifically asked about a younger mentor, recognizing that age gaps can matter. When you’re 10, even 15-year-olds can seem distant and other-worldly.
BCMP staff, helped by Reeves’ mom, helped ensure “we matched completely,” says Reeves. “I’m very into art. I was an art instructor for years, and Kate loves painting and making bracelets. I’m not super into swimming, but it’s one of Kate’s favorite things to do, so we did that all winter at the Y. And now that it’s summer, we do a lot of things outside.” Still, she says, “We have a lot of things in common.”
It’s this gentle meshing of interests, and perhaps slight disinterests, that strikes Reeves as so compelling. “I wish I had known in the beginning how beneficial this was, not just for her, but for me! I’ve grown so much. More people should know it’s not just helpful for the kids, it’s helpful for you, too, and rewarding for both,” says Reeves.
Big changes in a big year for Kate and friendships
“When we first met, Kate was a little bit nervous because she’s so shy,” recalls Reeves. This was not surprising. Everyone recognized Kate was shy, but Reeves worked right into the situation. “I’d ask her what she wanted to do and she would say, ‘Is it okay if we do this or that?’. She’d even apologize and say, “I’m sorry” if she didn’t feel like doing anything,” says Reeves.
With reassurance that she was there for Kate and plans can change with our mood, it didn’t take long for Kate to come out of her shell. “Maybe after two or three weeks she was comfortable telling me how she felt,” says Reeves. Sometimes Kate would say, “I’m kinda tired” and just want to go home. Most adults would likely envy anyone’s directness to say, “I’m kinda tired,” or a desire to just watch TV.
Last year has been full of changes, and Kate’s growth is obvious to Reeves. “She was nervous with others at school and didn’t reach out to anyone during recess. I’d ask her if she spoke to anyone or asked to hang out with friends her own age, and she’d say, ‘That’s a good idea!’.”
She adds, “Now she’s talking with friends about playing a game, going to a sleepover, and playing at recess instead of turning to solo activities like reading.” It’s a transformation Reeves is clearly proud to witness and play a small role in.
“As we’ve become closer, it’s clear she really is a homebody,” says Reeves. “Sometimes I come over and she wants to play Mario Kart or Just Dance. She loves listening to podcasts — like one about the history of marshmallows — and then talking about it.”
As Kate moves into a new school, albeit in the same district with her still-new classmates, Reeves will be there for her. This bit of stability, along with her younger sister growing a little older (who is also soon to seek a mentor), has provided a ten-year-old girl with a relationship that will have decades-long impact.
“I’m proud of my daughter,” says Reeves’ mom, Alisha. “Of course I’m supposed to say that, but Brooke shows how young adults from 18 on into their twenties and thirties can make a big impact in our community. A lot of young people are looking for ways to get involved in the community. Mentoring is a great way to get involved with flexibility around work and family.
Connect with us
If you’re a young person or college-age student based in Boone County and want to make a similar impact with at least an hour a week, discover how you can become a mentor.